Emotional Intelligence — Daniel Goleman

Summary in 15 minutes. Why IQ isn't everything, how the brain reacts before it thinks, and why good decisions need emotion too. Following Salovey's model, Goleman breaks emotional intelligence into five domains: knowing yourself, managing yourself, motivating yourself, understanding others and handling relationships. Work, marriage and children: where and how these skills matter, and how they can be taught. Reading's done. Now practice naming your emotions, pausing and understanding others. Start with seven days.

Key ideas of "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ"

The Emotional Brain

Why IQ isn't everything, how the brain reacts before it thinks, and why good decisions need emotion too.

1. Is IQ Everything?: Another way to measure intelligence
2. Emotional Hijacking: When the heart outruns the head
3. No Decisions Without Emotion: Reason and feeling work together

The Five Skills

Following Salovey's model, Goleman breaks emotional intelligence into five domains: knowing yourself, managing yourself, motivating yourself, understanding others and handling relationships.

1. Knowing Yourself: Name the emotion and you're halfway there
2. Managing Anger: Venting doesn't cool you down
3. Marshmallows and Self-Motivation: Resist the temptation now for a bigger reward later
4. Reading Other People: Empathy and social skill

Emotional Intelligence in Life

Work, marriage and children: where and how these skills matter, and how they can be taught.

1. Leading with Heart at Work: Star performers and the art of criticism
2. Emotions in Marriage: Complaints are fine; contempt is poison
3. Emotions Can Be Taught: School, family and you

Take Action

Reading's done. Now practice naming your emotions, pausing and understanding others. Start with seven days.

1. 7-Day Action Plan: One task a day. Tick it off when done.
2. One-Page Cheat Sheet: The whole book at a glance. Save it.
3. Final Word: Head and Heart Together: Living with your emotions, not ruled by them

From the free first chapter

Daniel Goleman earned a PhD in psychology at Harvard and spent many years writing about the brain and behavioral science for The New York Times. This book came out in 1995, and the phrase "emotional intelligence" soon entered conversations at work, at school and at home. The idea was first set out by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990. Goleman brought it to everyday readers.

The book's question is simple: why do so many people with a high IQ stumble, while many with an average IQ do remarkably well? Goleman's answer: the difference comes from another set of skills. Knowing and managing your own emotions, motivating yourself, reading other people's feelings, and handling relationships well.

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